hmmm i guessed i did promise not to come online so often? okay, i've been in denial. im here almost every night except that i dont blog and leave evidence for myself that indeed, i came online as expected. many many things happen during this period of time. i dont know how to cope with it with the obvious being the least of my problems. i just cant wait. cant wait for may to be over. okay, of course if im able to stay for AYG that'll be awesome and a bonus, but well... i just want may to be over. sometimes i dont see the point of continuing, seeing that i've lost certain things on the way. but i just have to, because of my actions in the past. alright, on saturday, i realised i did do a stupid thing, i mean, promised something really dumb, i guess... out of desperation? and im really sorry about it. really. i take back my words, the part where i claimed that i never said it. i did. and i regret it. or maybe not? if i didnt, i probably wouldnt have what i have right now. but then again, who says im enjoying it all? hmm... i'll say there's 2 sides to everything bah. hahah. this is like a quote from huihong. alright, regarding that, i'll just pray pray pray very very hard that the Lord will tide me through it all in the best way possible. :) and i trust that He makes the most perfect decisions.
met up with my deardears steph and huihong yesterday and my darling tanjialing today! lets start with the first. steph called me up randomly while i was in holding room waiting for my turn during salt run. turned out she had SATS in hwachong so she shun bian called me up lunch. talked talked alot. hahah. i realised almost everytime i talk to steph, i'll learn to see things in a new light. well... on saturday, i sort of figured a direction for myself, for the first time in my life, i know where to go, where i belong to. however, whether or not eventually i'll reach there is still an unknown. that's up to my discipline and brains. but well... at least im not wondering around like some headless chicken.
huihong came to the wake yesterday. i missed her sooo much i refuse let her hang up the phone to prepare to meet me. it's great to know how you're doing baby but when things get tough, you know im always around for you, no matter how busy i am. she made me realise how blessed i am actually, and i dont mean using her as a comparison. its just the things that we talk about that made me feel that way, and i learnt to treasure people around me more.
today was a really really bad day. like wth. suppose to meet in sch by 7am. fine i leave house like my normal time, 5.50am. after my 88 i change to 74. before i knew it, im at this ulu place which showed no signs of living things, called dover mrt station. -.- never mind. i walked over to take the bus back from the reverse direction. waited for freakin half an hour for the bus because it's a sunday morning. was so happy i reached KAP i msged darling. before i knew it, im at coro. #$^#^%$ overshot, again. took another bus back to salt. reached at? 7.45am -.- went rp for rehearsal. not bad experience playing in that metal toilet. happily met up with jialing for lunch. made her wait like more than half hour due to unforseen circumstances. end up she didnt eat she was just waiting for me to spend time with me. happily went up the bus with her to her tuition place. and then she said, "uhhh can i ask you something that may give you a shock?" "uhuh" "do you know what day is it today?"
im like O.O!!! *hurriedly checked my phone calendar* ohmy my darling tanjialing. im so so so sorryyyy.... >< im seriously the stupidest most brainless thing growing on earth. i didnt mean to forget. i'll never ever forgive myself, seriously. i must have disappointed you soooo much, asking you out and yet, forgetting your BIRTHDAY! im soooo sorrryy dear. i really really sincerely pray that you'll have a awesome year ahead and i just want to tell you how much i love you (even though i forgot your birthday x.x) iloveyou iloveyouuuu!!! <33 my bestest oldest friend! ^^
happily went back home and waited for darling at the bus stop when i realised, I LOST MY KEYS! wthwthwth. what is wrong with me. WHAT. IS. WRONG. WITH. ME??? the saddest part is not the keys, i can always make those again... it's the keychain on my keys..... :'( they mean more to me than anything else. they're the only present to me from jialing that has the most sentimental value to me, i dont know why. it's just this random keychain she bought from new york for me, not like she never give me other things before, but somehow, it's just this keychain that has most sentimental value to me and I LOST IT. i seriously... owe jialing 2 lives. i'll be your slave alright. im going to head down to the interchange to hunt for my keychain, i may have left it on 156. or maybe it's in sch. hope darling can find it in sch for me tomorrow. T.T
alright. it's really late. let me end of this sad-but-maybe-not-so-sad-afterall day post here. good night.