Chemistry over today, Econs and GP over over the past 2 days. Maths and Physics left.

Huihong is right i guess. Zi tao ku chi.
I slacked so much. I have totally no self discipline. I mugged very hard, but only at weird times. These results in my ultimate unproductivity and lousy exam scores.

Sometimes, it get so emotionally tiring when you think you put in so much efforts but the rewards you reap are so... well. Wei bu zu dao. Ohman, i think jialing is influencing me with her chinese idioms and weird phrases. Do i look so cheena? CherylChai asked me to teach her chinese. Hahahah. Thanks for your trust ah. Hahah. Alright, i'll try my best.

Anyway, jialing is chasing me away from the comp. Just came back from Qunxiang's birthday chalet. Hahah. Found many fun and funny eco people. And we watched the skies. ^^ HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUNXIANG!

Why

Just had GP paper. Okay. That doesn't make sense, general paper paper. Lol. Alright, i shall stop picking on the way people talk. Hahah. I think Huihong cant stand me already. GP was okay. Apparently, ALOT of people did music, because of the GP lesson on Thurs which i didn't attend and thanks to our star student who had it bullseye! I thank God for blessing me with a friend called Kevin for helping me take down notes and hints on Thursday, so that i can prepare well more or less for my GP. It's gonna be Econs tomorrow. But Peirong here is lagging so much behind for Chem that she's going to do half Chem half Econs today and not Econs major. To prepare for consult tomorrow. I pray for more time...

VJ's Econs paper was screwed apparently. But ohwell, jiayou my friends out there. More papers to come! Their Chem was okay today. Hahah. Great job everyone! ^^ 2 more papers to go!



Krystal: Yupyup! Thanks baobei for giving me so much support and encouragement. <3><>< Im never gonna see you till long long time later!

Cheryl: Awww. Dont be too sad. We're still gonna see everyone on Tuesdays! But that'll be one month later. -.- HAhahah. And im still gonna see you every week! Arent you happy to see me?! Hahahah.


An addition, i really want to thank the Lord for the spread out exam schedule. If not for that, i think i confirm no hope le.

i promise, i wont sleep till 3 am to make up for it okay. im going to do at least 2 rounds of physics tys mcq before i sleep. ohman. i dont know what to do with myself. i dont why am i losing it like that. it never happened before, i've never lost it before for any exams, not even for blocks. this time, it's like i cant even bring myself to work hard. this is sick. i can't bring myself to do anything, yet in this corner of my brain, there's this thing telling me im going to die like that and i cant die. and so i go to school and give this i-worked-so-hard-but-it-didnt-work look, the kind teachers in school pity me so much and they try so hard to help me. that made me feel so guilty, i want to work hard, even if it's just for them and not for myself. but but but, thing is, even that is not enough to push me to do something more... more... i dont know. im like losing it and i dont know what to do. people around me, all trying so hard to help me, and i feel so sorry to them, so dui bu qi them, i so bu zheng qi myself. Huihong has been reminding me over and over again to study, even taking out time to study with me to make sure i study. Jialing had been stuffing me with VJ papers to make sure i have enough practice and making sure i do them, even offer to pei me study right after her own exams. Krystal has been giving me so so so much encouragement to make me feel better. Ms Chua and Mrs Tan have taken out time to give me more more and more consults to help me do last minute catch ups. I cant even bring myself to say thank you now. it's like... i have fallen so deep, no matter how many ropes you throw down to me, i will die of exhaustion just climbing up the rope. but still, thank you to all who are always beside me, never giving up on me. im going to try my very best to work hard from now on. im making myself study in school tomorrow. no matter what, i must achieve something.

lin peirong, you've got to wake up. you can't live in deception and self-delusion anymore. My dear Lord Jesus, please, please bring me out of this bottomless pit that i've fallen into. im scared.

林佩蓉，你是怎么了？怎么那么不长进啊？

时间一秒一秒的过去。我抱着电脑，抱着《命中》，眼睁睁看着时间在我面前飞来飞去，最后一声不响的，跑掉。林佩蓉脑子应该是长在屁股上吧。怎么就那么不会想呢？时间是不会等你的！ 还在这干什么，快去读你的牛顿第一定律吧！

Okay, i don't know how to write Newton's chinese name...

18th September, it's over.

Was really scared that im first girl. And there i am, first girl. W.O.W Buy 4D also no see so zhun. I was pretty hmm... how should i put it, I under performed being the first girl. Though i know my work, but being first made me unsure of myself. I made a few shaky, uncertain starts and im quite sure Ms Wu saw it. And there was this part, she was giving us glissade dessous and dessus but she kept saying glissade over and under. All of us got so confused we kept the standing at the glissade devon and derriere position. -.- and she got a little annoyed. Felt that i didn't do my dance that well either. Ohwell. And oh, my group only has 3 people because one of the girls pulled out beforehand. The other girl who joined Tammy and i was Cara from Ms Shamala's class. Hahahah. Met up with Vanessa after her exam. Whoa. Her group damn zai lah. Got that cute little girl from summer school whom i forgot her name and this girl from Singapore Dance Academy. Hear the name also sound very zai already. Lol. And Jiejia was in that group too. See see, all the zai people. I'll be damn stressed if i were in that group. Wanted to wish Xinyi for her exam like right before she go in, but by the time i remembered, it's like after her exam already. -.- Sorry! ><

Here a big THANK YOU to those who wished! Thank you Amanda! Thank you Michelle! And big thank you to my baobei Krystal! This girl gave me such a wonderful surprise yesterday. Made me go all the way to VJ because she insisted that she has something that she has to give to me personally. I thought she went overseas or what over the weekends and got me a present. But it wasn't!







She gave me this cute little notebook to wish me for my ballet exam. I was so gandong-ed i didn't know what to say. Ballet was my love, so are my bplusb. But i never expected bplusb to come together with ballet! Hahah. I must be talking rubbish now right. But that's what i feel lah. Hahah. I know my friends love me loads too. Send me sms before my exam i very happy already. But Krystal actually thought about me and my exam even when she was shopping in the school bookshop. Hahah. I really don't know how to tell you how much i love you! Spent my afternoon with Huihong and Krysal yesteray eating Anderson's ice cream. Happiness! ^^

Oh. And thank you TanJialing for your sms before you sleep! Hahaha.

Heard that VJ GP paper was terrible today, something about chick lits and lad lits. TanJialing said the comprehension was uncomprenable. Hahah. People jiayou! Don't bei GP da dao kay! You'll do much better for your other exams!

Oh random. I just remembered i took some photos of my hair for exam. Hahah. Kevin requested i take a picture and show him. Okay. I'll put it here. If he's smart enough to find my blog, he'll get to see it.



Credits to Tammy's mommy for tying my hair into such a cute lil' neat bun! Hahahah. I thought the bun was pretty cute, if you ignore my head which is shaped like an alien's.



This is taken after i took the bun off. The huge thick layer of gel and hairspray made it look like some styled messy hair. Lol. Talking about that, Tammy helped in getting my hair up right, and her mommy said, "Tammy, why you spray Peirong hair like spray insect like that?" Lol.

Met up with Mrs IreneTan for physics consult.

"Okay, you want consult what?"
"Actually, i don't know leh."
...

That's because Peirong is lagging so much in her studies, she has nothing to consult. -.- Mrs Tan was really nice, seeing that im in such a desperate state, she arranged another 2 consults for me next week and the week after. Now it's up to me to do buck up, do something about myself, and not let her down lah. At least, pass Physics. I cannot afford to U anything anymore. So today's consult, we ended up planning for my studies and revision because im in such a unsavable desperate state already. ><

Okay. MAF photos that i didnt get to post up the other time due to my horrible always dying comp.



See the little dots? Its all the cameras whipped out to take photo of the burning words thing. Krys and i watch from 3rd floor. Super cool lah.





The light up. Pretty lights! :)



Our own little bplusb light up.



Last but not least, Hanhan and her Liangzai during song and dance session. See, got evidence already. Want run away also cannot.

And and and. Got somemore! But Krys Baobei never send me. :(

Okay, my posts today is so messy with things here and there. Anyway, what i wanted to say was, im not happy interfound is over. I'll miss all interfound'08 girls now that not all of us are moving on to the same class. Don't know why, but this exam seemed to be able to bond all of us so much closer before than any other things. Will really appreciate this exam and remember everyone! My interfound exam, the exam which forged me so many friends from dance and made me realise i have such a wonderful awesome teacher called MsPang. I love interfound'08.

I thank Lord Jesus for my wonderful friends...
Never a day will i forget to be grateful for that.

Ballet made me so happy today! :) Huihong made me so happy today! Nothing in school is going to put me down if i have my friends and my dance with me!



Xinyi: And the thing that left the most vivid impression in me about SOKA is the sunshine aunties. Hhahah. So cute.

Yuli: Noo. Yuli. Im just extremely bored. My blog should be voted my interesting blog. ^^

Hmm. Gonna talk about this person whom i was once pretty close to, this person whom i lost as a friend. I don't know how things turn out this way. I really have no idea. I didn't want it this way either. Everytime i see you, i feel a stab of guilt. Everytime i see your msn pop up, i wonder if i should take the initiative to talk to you, maybe to ease things a little. But ohwell, this part of me always tells me that too many a time i've been taking the initiative, it's time you do something about it. If you don't, so be it. And so, in this way it goes. Huihong says, it's a pity things turn out this way. But somehow, I felt a form of relieve and freedom, a kind of jie tuo i guess. Well, i'll leave things in your hands, but i doubt you'll do anything about it.


I think I'm trying too hard to find someone in my this little world. I know i have all the love i need in all my other little worlds. Sometimes, there's this voice telling me, I'm being too greedy and i should be happy with what i have already. But sometimes, it is precisely this lack of love in this particular little world that makes it so blank and empty there, in stark contrast to my other little worlds. The difference is so obvious, this world is so close to me, i simply can't ignore the difference. No matter how much i try to patch it up with things i get from the outside, it never seem to be able to make up for the difference. And i look at my friends, they all seem to be able to get their love from that world of theirs, why am i the only lost one?

Photo updates on PW trial!

Have been really really sick these 2 days. Don't think i can make it for ballet though i very much want to. Haven't been eating since yesterday because i can't. Whatever i eat comes out. Huihong has this theory that i've gotten some virus, which is probably true. My head feels so bloated now. Fever on and off.

Went to steph's house on monday. Suppose to mug with her at RJ but she overslept and didn't go school. So yep, i went her house. Didn't want to stay to mug actually beacuse i felt a little sick already. But i gave in eventually. I asked to bathe, asked for food, asked for drinks, asked for tissues, i bet steph's mom must have thought im such a mahfan kid. And her mom laughed at my small feet. -.-"

Sick for the next 2 days. Nothing to post about. Totally wasted my time. I was so sick i can't bring myself to do anything.



Amanda: Hello! Yup okie! Great job on your interfound! Anyway, you changed your url again is it?

Stephh: Hahahah. Of course! I have nice songs!!! And you really hulijing what! Hhahaahah but i still love you! <3

Krystal: Lol. Baobei kenna daoed by stephh. Nvm. I love you can le.

Belle: Yup! ^^ Thanks for the encouragement! One more week to interfound! ><

Xinyi: Yup. I know some people from SOKA. I went for YWC. Did you go?

Got this from Deborah's blog. She didn't tag me. But im pretty bored. So here's a quiz for myself.

Name 20 people you can think of now.
Don't read the questions until you have named the 20 people.
At the end of this choose 5 people to do it.


1. SarahChuaYingWei!

2. Jihao

3. Yuli

4. Zhonghan

5. Gillian

6. Bena

7. Stephanie

8. Zhuoyan

9. TanJialing

10. Huihong

11. Shijun

12. Krystal

13. Sophia

14. Weihan

15. Vera

16. Kevin

17. Wenxin

18. Michelle

19. Amanda

20. CherylChai



How did you meet 14?

Hanhan! Cedar! Hahahah! I wish we were back in Cedar... ><


How would you do if you never meet 1?
Siasia! There'll be no one to intro me to Twilight and Edward!


What if 9 and 20 date ?

Jialing and Cheryl? Err. Right now, they don't even know each other. -.- Maybe Cheryl will cover her with leaves. Hmm.


will 6 and 17 date?

Bena and Wenxin. Uhhh. Unlikely. Wenxin guaranteed she's straight, didn't she? And Bena loves her gao hu and er hu too much to date anyone else lah!


describe 3.

Yuli. Small and skinny and i don't like her for that. HAhaha. Joking! I love this nice lil girl loads! Smartass top for almost everything lah. You name it! SHe's got it!


is 8 attractive?

Zhuoyan. Uhhh. No comments.


describe 7.

Stephanie. Omg. Hu li jing. Hahahahaha. OKay. My most beloved-hug-with-barrier friend. Hhaahahah. Pretty and sexayy. Lol. i loved you loads!


do you know of 12 family members?

Yep! My baobei leh. How can i not know. Daddy James, Didi Joel, Mommy Kathy, Jiejie Krystal!


what would you do if 18 confesses to you that he likes you?

Michelle. Hmmm. I'll buy her a halter leotard. Hahahah.


what language does 15 speaks?

OHHH! VERASHAW OINKS!


who is 9 going out with?

Jialing... Hmm. I would like to know that too!


how old is 16?

Kevin's my classmate. -.- 17 lah duh.


when is the last time you spoke to 13?

Sophiaa!!! Hahahah. 3 min ago!


who is 2 favourite band or singer?

Ayeaye. This one i know. Jihao likes LuoZhiXIang!


Would you ever date 4?

Zhonghan. Okay. I'll consider if he stops being such a pervy uncle.


Would you ever date 1?

Sarah... Hmm. If she stops being loser and stop mugging instead of coming to see her lao peng you!


Is 19 single?

Amanda. Think so... Are you?


what is 10 last name?

Tee Huihong


would you ever be in a relationship with 11?

Shijun? Nonono. I not so bad. He has his ps already...


school of 3?

Yuli. HWACHONG!


where does 16 lives?

Kevin? I don't know leh. In a very ulu area around Queenstown.


what is your favourite thing of 5?

Gillian. I lover her for always being there whenever i need her! <3


Have you ever seen 2 naked?

Jihao??? Err please. No thanks.

Tagged

Weihan
Krystal
CherylChai
Belle
Tanjialing!

Still can't go on pointe. Really feel very very disappointed with myself. Why can't my ankles just brace up and stop wobbling around?!?! And i feel like im disappointing Ms Pang everytime too whenever she encourages me with a smile. Please please... Brace yourself. Okay, on the bright side, a few days of continuous pointe work is doing my feet good, at least i think im getting used to it. Getting less hard each time. :)

Hmm. Started off with a little of PW today already. Not too bad. I think God gave me PW to tell me who dependent i am on others, how selfishly i always seem to think im tanking everything when im not. For the simple reason because i can't. With that, i thank God for giving me my lovely PWmates. I really appreciate all the efforts you guys put in, be it in editing my lousy work, or in making the effort to come for the trial and PW consults with me. I thank everyone out there helping me with my PW too. Esp Qunxiang(my half PWmate), Lichan(for lending me his clar), Jialing(for being so supportive and helping me with trial and Vera, Melanie, Shushuen, Rachel(for being wonderful tutors during my trial). Big THANK YOU to all of you! <3 I'll finish up with PW editing pretty soon and forward to you guys for editing! :)



Yingna: You're online too!!! Now! Hahaha. Look at the time! While you were tagging i was blogging!

Tricia: Thanks! Miss you loads! Havent seen you for so long! >.<

Serene: Sloowww pokk! Hahahah. I found your blog first! :P

Hanhan: Tsktsk. So suspicious ah. Not your liangzai ah! See lah. Not loyal to Baobei then kenna caught. See you during MAF!

Krystal: Baobei! Thanks for wanting to come for MAF even though you are very sian! Love you loads! <3

CHeryl: Yooo. When am i gonna see you again pokpok?!

Today's a bad bad day. Went for PW consult in the morning. Discussed with Ms Ang for over 1 hour. Almost entire PW had to be scrapped. Omg. Please kill me. Im gonna spend tonight doing half and tomorrow another half. Please let me be productive.

Had pw trial in the afternoon. Went well in a way. We were kind of scared we'll get leng chang from the kids but no! Hahah. They were pretty enthu. One boy just came and plonk himself on my lap. Hahah. See, Im so lovable. OKay, i shall stop zilianing. Hee. Anyway, it was very bad because... everything bad that Qunxiang predicted came true! Omg. Buy 4D also not so zhun can. He say, what if the kids don't cooperate? What if they spoil your instrument? Then in the end, we really had 2 problematic kids and one of them really spoilt lichan's clarinet. Ahhhhh... Please stab me. I feel sooo super guilty lah. Im going to PS tomorrow to get him a new one. If Yamaha don't have i'll go band world. IF band world don't have, i'll go... I'll definitely get him a new one lah. Anyway, something really awesome today that i really want to share. As i mentioned, my entire pw proposal had to be changed right, so my pw trial would actually have been targeting the wrong group of kids. But God is good, He blessed me in a most unexpected way! Just as we were on our way to the home, Nancy called to ask us about our plan.

"Hi Nancy, we're on our way!"
"What?! How come?! You guys didn't even confirm with me. I thought you guys decided to drop the plan! I didn't allocate a slot for you!"
"Then how? We're on our way already!"
"Okok. Just come and we'll see how."

And so we went. Nancy didn't stick to the plan to give us pri 1 to pri 3 kids. She gave a weird mixture of kids from pri 2 to sec 1 which includes our new target group! Hahah. The Lord is just so awesome!

Yupyup. Went for ballet late. Lesson felt so short today. Choked on my own saliva and kept coughing when we were doing some allegro. Hahah. So lame and malu.

Rushed for church. School of the Spirit. I just to thank the Lord for how much He blesses me everyday.




Cheryl: Ayeaye. Since when i say i love you huh. Don't zi lian! Plastic surgery so that you can grow fatter. Heh.

Hanhan<3: Oie!!! Who say Baobei is yours! Baobei is mine! Go and play with your stupid liangzai lah! Lol. Don't so violent. Later liangzai don't like you. Omg. *runs to hide*

Krystal: hee. i love you too! <3

Huihong: The picture so cute lor. Hahaha. So artistic somemore. Heh. Aiyahh. Your guai pi guai then must tell the world what. Not guai then say for what. Not fun le what.

1.The person who tagged/pass you is?
CHERYL CHAI THE POK!

2. Your relationship with him/her?
dancemate!

3. Your five impressions of him/her?
uhh uhh...
Crazy
Smiley (Lol!)
Abit sick
Sick
Very sick

4. The most memorable thing he/she has done to you?
Err err. Nothing. Ohman. Cheryl is so insignificant in my life... Lol.

5. The most memorable thing he/she has said to you?
The leaf fall fall fall fall fall. Did the leaf fall???

6. If he/she becomes your lover you will?
Ehh. Make her go for plastic surgery.

7. If he/she became your lover, he/she has to improve on?
Grow fatter. So that i wont feel fat beside her.

8. If he/she became your enemy, you will?
err err. ignore her. backstab her. okay. no, i not so mean. i'll just kick her butt.

9. If he/she became your enemy, the reason will be?
She's too sick for my liking.

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her is?
Hmm. Give her a hug for trying her best in ballet exam. <3

11. Your overall impression of him/her is?
SMILEY! :D

12. How do you think the people around you will think about you?
stupid. lol. i can't do WEP.

13. The characters you love of yourself are?
Everything, and that includes being stupid. I'm stupid so that you can be smart. I'm so noble. Heh. Ohman. Another wonderful character trait of mine.

14. On the contrary, the characters you hate of yourself are?
I can't go en pointe! >.<

15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
Have lots of money. $$$ In urgent need of some. Anyone wants to donate to me?

16. For people who care and like you, say something to them.
I LOVE YOU GUYS ALOT ALOT. <3

17. Pass this quiz to 10 people.
1 Baobei
2 TanJialing
3 KevinLeeTing`en
4 Michelle-I-don't-know-ur-surname(heh)
5 NgYuli
6 Verashaw
7 Hanhan
8 Rayson
9 Zhuoyan(totally random)
10 Mysecretadmirer(whoever you are)

18. Who is number 6 having a relationship with?
Ohman. I love this. KuoJiji! Heh!

19. Is number 9 male or female?
male... i can't imagine him female. -.-"

20. If number 7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
no. My secret admirer has to admire me.

21. What is number 2 studying about?
CHem Equilibria. She going crazy...

22. What kind of band does number 8 like?
Ehh. I don't know leh. He likes piano. Why don't no. 8 tell me himself?

23. Does number 1 have any siblings?
Yep! Younger bro who used to maple alot, audi alot and now, dota alot. From a school of cute lil boys i realise. Lol.

24. Will you woo no. 3?
OMG! O.O NO!

25. How about number 7?
Hmm. I'll consider. But right now, she's my qing di. We both love Baobei you see.

26. Is number 4 single?
I hope so. She has to love me. ^^

27. What is the surname of number 5?
Ng...

28. What's the hobby of number 10?
No idea. Maybe collecting my photos... (okay. eww. no stalkers please.)

29. Does number 5 and 9 get along well?
pretty well. PWmates.

30. Where is number 2 studying at?
VJ!

31. Talk something casually about number one.
I LOVE HER ALOT ALOT! <3

32. Where does number 9 live at?
Maple Lane. aka, rich man lane lah.

33. What colour does number 4 like?
i don't know. Pink? She looks pinky to me. Heh.

34. Are number 5 and number 1 best friends?
No. They don't know each other. But maybe we can all make friends.

35. Does number 1 have any pets?
No. She has no time for pets lah. She need spend time thinking about me. ^^

36. Is number 7 the sexiest person in the world?
Err.. err... This is a question maybe only her liangzai can answer. Heh.

37. What is number 6 doing now?
Sleeping. Or probably planning her surprise for me tomorrow.

Ohmy.. Finally finish. Cheryl Chai you pok. Can't get your stupid long long quiz from your blog lah. Got to get from Angela's blog. Lol.

Felt terribly sick. :(

Still feel bloated from head to tummy to toes. Today first time don't feel like eating alot of things. Can't even finsih dinner. And i feel hot on my cheeks and tummy.

Dad cheat me of my feelings. Didn't bring us to Ubin today because he claims that it's raining. I bet it's just because he wants me to type his stupid report for him. -.-" i conclude, the report is lame to the max. It's about stupid conflicts in his company and his team which he is too lazy to type out himself.

Anyway, went studying with Huihong at cartel. We started scaring ourselves and getting paranoid that the cartel people hates us because they all abit dao us and give us black face. Okay, maybe we imgained it. Heh. Not productive today because Huihong and i spent 3 hours on 2 WEP tutorial questions and productive because Peirong managed to do Arenes tutorial herself! Not productive because Huihong was doing Econs and she hates Econs. -.-" How can she hate Econs. Tsktsk. My fav subject lah...



Huihong likes to dig a hole in her bread.



Oh. She realised i was trying to get a picture of her. Very clever...



My gummy bears! They survived the night, miraculously. Heh. But Huihong claims that i contaminated them with my bread. Lol.

Hmm. Busy printing all the stuff for pw consult tomorrow and for trial. Ohmy, such a waste of paper. Keep printing wrong stuff and i sort of lost control over my printer, so a huge pile of unwanted paper end up at the tray there. So xin tong can. :( I hope tomorrow's trial will be really good. Kinda worried for it.

I want to learn my Clementi by this week leh. Or at least half of it. ><