it's over. i dont know how should i feel actually. i thought i would be really relieved and happy it's over. but but... somehow at the very end, i felt some love from there and... i dont feel like leaving. hmmm, anyway, i want to thank people.

thank you

shionyee and vera for flowers (vera gave me some leftover thing meant for other ppl -.-)
yuli, bena, lichan and jihao for supporting (stop laughing at my weird dancing! ><)
sophia and kunkun for flowers and support (i love your roses! ^^)
darling! <33
huihong and sly (and baobei for her support though she's not there. <3)
lz daddy (here you are. thanks for coming down for meee! ^^ love ya!)
STEPH! (omgomg that cute big girl. hahaha. bought me random stuff. <3)

and others whom i left over. ><

plusplus

caroline
charmaine
xiping
chit
sarah
bojia
anthony
charmaine's partner dont know what name
xiping's partner dont know what name
chit's partner dont know what name
andre
shenghong
and... SIQUAN! ^^

anyway baby, why was yesterday memorable?

百年先も 愛を誓うよ
君は僕の全てさ
どんな君も　どんな僕でも
一つ一つが愛しい　
君がいれば何もいらない
きっと幸せにするから
百年先も 愛を誓うよ
君は僕の全てさ
愛している　ただ愛している
同じ明日約束しよう
世界中にただ一人だけ
僕は君を選んだ
君といれば　どんな未来も
ずっと輝いてるから



one two three four
tell me that you love me more <3

hmm... reached home at 2330 today after the gl fusion timing of 2000 to 2200. but well, today's session proved to be of some worth. cus i finally managed to improve, i dont know by how much. though there's so much more to go and i dont know how i'll do eventually on the big days. it's in 3 days time and uhh... im still, i still look blur and dont fit in. okok linpeirong, jiayou hao bu hao. hang on, it's just a few days more.

come what come may, time and hour runs through the toughest day. i still need to do gp article review which uhh, i totally agree with vera that there's is no point doing. -.- waste my time only.

oh and just in case people are curious about the question that i posted them today about the snails. snails lays eggs alright. yup. that's how they reproduce. and snails are hermaphrodites, meaning they have both males and females reproductive organs, potential transexuals. :P

today i feel determined.

finish tutoring work and...

ohmy ohmy. slacked the whole day. never do anything. so shi bai. x.x okay. must wake up do mptp. ><

heh. i should put a disclaimer to my blog hor. after what cynthia said. what you see here, please do not infer further. lol. cus there's nothing to infer.

hmm. today's mugmug day. i didnt go ballet AGAIN us darling wants to study but never tell me what time. he better be here early or he's gonna waste my time waiting and im going to get really not happy again. i think i'll go ballet... on tue? i want to.

but that reminds me, i have fusion prac on tue. and it's just 13 days to dancenight. last week, it seemed really far to me and i was still thinking, wahh why so uptight, still so far away what. but then yesterday, i see how unprepared and sucky i am, how all the stuff dont flow well, i dont think about others right now, but myself, im not doing my part. i guess there's this new way of looking at dancenight pracs now. (: may be a good thing. hopefully.

alright, off to pack my room now before darling comes.

phiaphia has this stalker stealing all her things. i have this stalker mosquito who keeps biting me everywhere, with this fetish for my left leg. i've got like 10 bites there now, not to exclude weird other spots like my elbow and my stomach. it's like some internal mosquito thing, everyday i get one bite. so freaky. -.-

hmm. i wanna thank my darling alot alot, for being through all my mood swings with me, putting up with all my weirdness, all my craziness, never complaining. thank you dear for all the encouragement, studying with me, always giving in to me and braving through all those awkward times with my family :P love you darling, alot alot. <33

GOLD!!! ^^ actually, that's all i need. glory be to God for all that we have. i thank HcBand for being so supportive and understanding to me all the while i missed band pracs, i thank my awesome sectionmates for all being so supportive and their guidance and patience as well all these while, i thank my family for giving me strength and i thank my darling for all the encouragement all these while. i love all of you alot alot! <33 HcBand ftw!

the notes are the music, we are the soul

makes absolutely no sense to me but who cares!

hmmm i guessed i did promise not to come online so often? okay, i've been in denial. im here almost every night except that i dont blog and leave evidence for myself that indeed, i came online as expected. many many things happen during this period of time. i dont know how to cope with it with the obvious being the least of my problems. i just cant wait. cant wait for may to be over. okay, of course if im able to stay for AYG that'll be awesome and a bonus, but well... i just want may to be over. sometimes i dont see the point of continuing, seeing that i've lost certain things on the way. but i just have to, because of my actions in the past. alright, on saturday, i realised i did do a stupid thing, i mean, promised something really dumb, i guess... out of desperation? and im really sorry about it. really. i take back my words, the part where i claimed that i never said it. i did. and i regret it. or maybe not? if i didnt, i probably wouldnt have what i have right now. but then again, who says im enjoying it all? hmm... i'll say there's 2 sides to everything bah. hahah. this is like a quote from huihong. alright, regarding that, i'll just pray pray pray very very hard that the Lord will tide me through it all in the best way possible. :) and i trust that He makes the most perfect decisions.

met up with my deardears steph and huihong yesterday and my darling tanjialing today! lets start with the first. steph called me up randomly while i was in holding room waiting for my turn during salt run. turned out she had SATS in hwachong so she shun bian called me up lunch. talked talked alot. hahah. i realised almost everytime i talk to steph, i'll learn to see things in a new light. well... on saturday, i sort of figured a direction for myself, for the first time in my life, i know where to go, where i belong to. however, whether or not eventually i'll reach there is still an unknown. that's up to my discipline and brains. but well... at least im not wondering around like some headless chicken.

huihong came to the wake yesterday. i missed her sooo much i refuse let her hang up the phone to prepare to meet me. it's great to know how you're doing baby but when things get tough, you know im always around for you, no matter how busy i am. she made me realise how blessed i am actually, and i dont mean using her as a comparison. its just the things that we talk about that made me feel that way, and i learnt to treasure people around me more.

today was a really really bad day. like wth. suppose to meet in sch by 7am. fine i leave house like my normal time, 5.50am. after my 88 i change to 74. before i knew it, im at this ulu place which showed no signs of living things, called dover mrt station. -.- never mind. i walked over to take the bus back from the reverse direction. waited for freakin half an hour for the bus because it's a sunday morning. was so happy i reached KAP i msged darling. before i knew it, im at coro. #$^#^%$ overshot, again. took another bus back to salt. reached at? 7.45am -.- went rp for rehearsal. not bad experience playing in that metal toilet. happily met up with jialing for lunch. made her wait like more than half hour due to unforseen circumstances. end up she didnt eat she was just waiting for me to spend time with me. happily went up the bus with her to her tuition place. and then she said, "uhhh can i ask you something that may give you a shock?" "uhuh" "do you know what day is it today?"

im like O.O!!! *hurriedly checked my phone calendar* ohmy my darling tanjialing. im so so so sorryyyy.... >< im seriously the stupidest most brainless thing growing on earth. i didnt mean to forget. i'll never ever forgive myself, seriously. i must have disappointed you soooo much, asking you out and yet, forgetting your BIRTHDAY! im soooo sorrryy dear. i really really sincerely pray that you'll have a awesome year ahead and i just want to tell you how much i love you (even though i forgot your birthday x.x) iloveyou iloveyouuuu!!! <33 my bestest oldest friend! ^^

happily went back home and waited for darling at the bus stop when i realised, I LOST MY KEYS! wthwthwth. what is wrong with me. WHAT. IS. WRONG. WITH. ME??? the saddest part is not the keys, i can always make those again... it's the keychain on my keys..... :'( they mean more to me than anything else. they're the only present to me from jialing that has the most sentimental value to me, i dont know why. it's just this random keychain she bought from new york for me, not like she never give me other things before, but somehow, it's just this keychain that has most sentimental value to me and I LOST IT. i seriously... owe jialing 2 lives. i'll be your slave alright. im going to head down to the interchange to hunt for my keychain, i may have left it on 156. or maybe it's in sch. hope darling can find it in sch for me tomorrow. T.T

alright. it's really late. let me end of this sad-but-maybe-not-so-sad-afterall day post here. good night.

i have a aim in life. i finally have one. ^^